Let’s get into a quick exercise that can help you realize some of your own blockers.
If you are currently experiencing some difficulties accomplishing a financial goal, or you feel that something is holding you back in its achievement, try the following:
1. Take a piece of paper and write on top of it:
“The reason why I can’t _______________ (insert desire or goal) is…”
And here, immediately, start writing down everything that comes to your mind.
Fast, don’t stop.
Allow yourself the immense freedom of being brutally honest with yourself.
Write what you truly think, even if you don’t feel proud or even feel ashamed about recognizing it.
Let honesty be the sharp razor that cuts the weeds in the garden of your mind through its first step: acknowledgement packed with acceptance.
Don’t take too much time, just write 20-30 things that come to your mind.
It might look something like this:
“The reason why I can’t _______________ (insert desire or goal) is…
I’m too lazy
I’m not enough
I don’t have enough _____ (insert limiting attribute)
My father told me I couldn’t
I fear failure more than desire success
And so on…
2. Now try the same exercise, but this time, around I want you to name specifically the thing you want in a detailed manner.
So it’d be something like…
“The reason why I can’t _______________ (insert desire or goal with great detail) is…
And proceed as before.
Now, sit in silence for a moment with the list you’ve just written (you did actually write it, right?
OK… for a moment I thought you were just reading and not doing the exercises… please forgive me!) and see if any of the things you’ve written down feel as actually true to you.
Do you believe them to be accurate?
3. Now write a list of all the most negative attributes and behaviours you can think of about yourself, other people, relationships, life in general, the world, etc.
Again, sit in silence with your list and feel if any of these ideas actually hold any emotional power over you.
If during this exercise (or any other of the exercises we offer you through the book) you start to feel strongly any emotion coming up, please do not reject it.
This means something is moving inside of you, and the path of growth in this instance is the one of acceptance, embracing the emotion as a welcome guest to the garden of your mind.
Even though this guest may “feel awkward” (or just about any negative emotion), allow him to come in, “he” is there to help you, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.
4. Whenever you feel a sense of being complete with this exercise, especially if you’ve discovered and touched some of your limiting beliefs, tear down the lists – a symbol of you making a commitment to not holding onto them any longer.
After this, sit quietly and relaxed, and do some of the following affirmations so that they start taking the place of the old limiting beliefs had:
I now release my entire past, setting myself free by the God-given choice of the will I have.
I am committed to dissolving all my negative and self-limiting beliefs.
I choose to have power over them instead of the other way around.
I forgive and release any negative feelings towards anyone in my life because I understand that I have the power to choose and give things a new empowering meaning, one that empowers my life instead of breaking it.
I don’t have to please others for them to like me.
I make a genuine effort to like myself, and that is enough to attract meaningful people in my life.
If I don’t like something about me, I change it, because I am committed to developing the best version of myself, even if I have to go through momentary pain to achieve it.
The world is a beautiful place of abundance if I only focus on all of the things that make it so.
The Universe always provides to those who:
* Live in honesty with themselves and the world
* Make a daily effort to give the best of themselves on that specific day
* Practice gratitude
* Nurture their mind, their body and their soul
All magnificent personal changes come from a change in beliefs.
So what is the most efficient way of doing this?
To get your brain to associate incredible pain to the old belief.
Think about it… if something is consistently painful… if, for example, a self-destructing behaviour we struggle with, when we think about engaging in it all we can think of, and all we focus on is on the painful aspects of it, and really feel them as if we were already experiencing them (visualizing them), our willpower is not going to be something we battle with.
You don’t consider eating dog shit.
Because it doesn’t give you pleasure in any sense or form…
What if we could link the same feeling of rejection we have for the dog shit (or cockroaches) towards our own limiting beliefs and behaviours?
That’s right… we’d create INSTANT change.
When we focus on the pain of something is not only worth it to focus on the near future pain, but also for the long-term pain we’ll have by consistently being victims of our self-limiting beliefs in the course of a decade.
And right after that, we do the exact same opposite: we associate massive pleasure to the new empowering belief or behaviour, thus creating a double sword that eradicates the unwanted things in life.
Remember: everything we do we do it because of our natural and good old need to avoid pain and gain pleasure.
If we associate enough pain to anything, we’ll stop doing it.
It’s also very important to realize that beliefs have “different levels”.
Let me explain…
A belief can be classified into three categories: opinions, beliefs, and convictions.
An opinion is something we feel a certain level of certainty towards, but out of all three categories it is the “weakest one”.
We’re more open to change it because it is not a strong and life-long conviction of something.
We’ve had so many opinions that changed over time that we grow up having an open mind about them.
As mature adults, we recognize that an opinion is a subjective matter and, therefore, it can be changed if we feel that the opinion loses its power over a new one.
A belief, on the other hand, is formed through a series of circumstances in our life.
Several references that give form to the belief and, therefore, we have a strong emotion over them.
They give us a sense of absolute certainty about them.
Even though for other people we may be completely mistaken, we strongly feel our beliefs are “the right ones” and if someone opposes them we think “they are wrong”.
A belief can be built from anything, from personal experiences to information we’ve consumed.
It is a pity many of us spend our lives with a closed mind towards the veracity of our own beliefs, especially the non-empowering ones.
If we gave a space for doubt about them, we open the door to empowering change and our life could be changed forever.
At the same time, an empowering belief can also be “wrong”.
For example, when I was young I was once singing in school and someone told me I sang very good.
That got me into singing more and as I grew up, I saw that many people did not share this opinion.
Nonetheless, I chose to keep being convinced I was a good singer and do everything I could to become an even better one.
My inner confidence and regular practice of 9 years eventually turned me into a great singer indeed and changing the opinion of those who thought I was not a good singer in the process.
So by sticking to an empowering belief and combining it with consistent and committed action, I was able to change my own reality.
I probably wasn’t a great singer when I started out… but the combination of the previous sentence certainly changed that reality.
Many “talented” people become talented and “lucky” this way.
And then there’s a conviction, the most powerful of all.
There is so much intensity in a conviction that the person who has it not only feels very strongly about it, but might even get annoyed if his/her conviction is questioned.
A person with a conviction doesn’t give a single second of doubt about it.
He or she is so certain that it kind of becomes an obsession (a powerful thing if it’s channeled in the right direction).
For the purpose of your own goals and dreams, the key and major distinction here to be made is that a woman that, for example, fantasizes about building a cosmetic empire has an opinion of her entrepreneur desire, but someone who does whatever it takes to make it happen, even at the expense of forgoing instant pleasure in order to achieve delayed pleasure, someone who does whatever she can to make her desire a reality… that person has a conviction.
Conviction that is a tremendous aid in her quest because it gives her certainty and confidence.